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Writer's pictureJames Radford

Emotions are Illogical

As a child, I was taught to "get over your stuff and leave it at home." Airing your dirty laundry, especially at school, was frowned upon. Public displays of emotion were seen as signs of weakness and immaturity. This upbringing made it hard for me to share my emotions as an adult. To this day, expressing my feelings often feels difficult and embarrassing a sign of lack of intelligence.



As men, we are often taught to suppress our emotions. My son recently finished basic training and Advanced Individual Training (AIT) with the US Army, where he was told to do push-ups if he started to cry. While I understand the desire to cultivate a strong and brave army, is this method truly necessary to achieve that? Does suppressing emotions make us stronger, or does it merely teach us to hide our vulnerabilities?

On the other side, I think there's a limit to how much we should openly share. We've all encountered that person in line at the grocery store, venting all their frustrations into their cell phone while checking out. It’s uncomfortable to witness. So where is the line? What does a healthy balance of emotional expression look like?

Proverbs 17:27-28 says, "A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent." There's wisdom in being measured and thoughtful with our words. Yet, taking it to the extreme of suppressing all emotions isn't healthy either.

As an adult, I'm realizing more and more the importance of acknowledging and expressing our emotions. Bottling things up only leads to explosive moments, something I've experienced a few times this week, particularly concerning finances. I believe it's crucial for our children to witness healthy emotional expression as they grow. But what exactly does healthy anger, fear, or hurt look like? Is it okay to show joy even when those around you can't? Let's explore these questions together.

Finding balance is key. It's about recognizing that it’s okay to not be okay, and it's okay to express that. It's also about understanding when and how to share our emotions in a way that is constructive and respectful to ourselves and others. Emotions are a natural part of being human, and learning to navigate them healthily is a lifelong journey. Let's strive to find that balance, encouraging strength not just in our silence, but in our honest expressions as well.


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